Thread: Radia Sol (6 parts)

RADIA SOL: EMANATIONS OF THE SELF
- A THEORY -

0.

Opening Statements

This manuscript is the amalgam of two ideas. The first idea comes from looking into the various mss of the ONA that deal with the personal alchemy of the Magickian as s/he discards the Ego in necessary favour of the Self. The second idea comes from my foray into the fields of Science and Physics to educate myself on the basics that I felt I lacked the knowledge of.

The discarding and transcending of the Ego via ‘alchemical’ processes poses some interesting inferences. That the Ego is not necessarily the ‘be-all and end-all’ of our organisms intellectual and spiritual capacity, and that the emergence of a new species of capacity can be attained by shedding the older ego-based skin of the conscious through the harsh alchemical processes mentioned within alchemical-based texts, is interesting enough. But this alchemical angle seems to be quite satisfactorily covered for the moment and my concern and this manuscript aim to explore another aspect of the Psyche: the metaphysical process that enables the Psyche to shift from Ego to Self.

Amongst Ona manuscripts and indeed most other books that cover the subject of Psyche, from the manner in which the aspects of the Unconscious, Ego and Self are attributed to the Psyche, I get the impression they are represented almost as if they were transient beings. As if the Psyche is inhabited by the three individual entities, and ‘Ego’ for instance, is merely one power in control of the organism at any given time from a choice of three: A triplicate that inhabits the organism as if the organism were a vehicle and one of the three aspects the vehicles current driver. When I found myself wondering if the Psyche could indeed be inhabited by a sort of triplicate life of its own, I began trying to apply scientific principles from an Acausal point of view to work out how these three organisms of the Psyche or 'Psychanisms' might function.

The Ego is integrated with, and ingrained as, part of our conscious, sure. Yet, via alchemy, it is metaphysically possible to increase and decrease its degree of domination, and can even be forced to take a backseat to one of the other aspects as the organism gains conscious recognition of its Ego and enables the Psyche to evolve into the Self. This sounds like a relatively simple enough process in theory. However, when I'd personally apprehended the concept of the Psyche and nurtured the ability to recognize which of the three aspects were dominant within the conscious of others around me: it was increasingly clear how difficult it was for an organism to gain primary consciousness of its Ego in order to enable the move to self. Given the elite nature of Satanists, I toyed with the idea that this inability for the Majority to apprehend, recognise and overcome the driver of their organism as the Satanist is able to, was due to two things:

• The differing degree of mergence of the Acausal with the respective nexions.
• The presence of an x factor in the respective organism enabling independent recognition of the dominant power currently driving their organism.

I hypothesise that Self emerges from Ego by virtue of the Self becoming Self-Aware. This self-awareness primarily requires the Self to realise it exists. So how does the Self come to recognise itself, and furthermore become the dominant psychanism over the virtually absolute dominance of the Ego in many cases, either naturally or magically? It is reasonable to assume that there exists some sort of trigger for the Self’s awareness, that such triggers prompt the organism into suddenly becoming aware of the Psychanism in current control.

Yet the ‘Psychanisms’ are intangible and, from many points of view inseparable: as much a part of us as we are of it. So how does an organism apprehend them? In part, this is where the Alchemical and Magickal working toward the ability to recognize and separate the Self from the Ego may come in. Yet logically speaking, perhaps the Psychanisms recognise their image and become consciously aware of it in the same way as the organism they inhabit does - by its reflection in a mirror?

Esoterically and Sociologically speaking, if one thinks of the manner in which a child’s unconscious slowly forms into an Ego, one realises a process occurs wherein the organism is unable to see itself except in other people via the visible external interactions and changes it makes. (Added to of course by Environment, Culture et al until personal identity is achieved) One gets the impression that everyone is looking at everyone and everything else simply to see or more precisely, Define, themselves. Since the myth ‘Equality’ and the concept of all people being equal has no standing in my hypothesis, perhaps it is the unequal portioning of charge to some individuals via the different degree of individual mergence with the Acausal that enables certain individuals better recognition and control of their Psychanisms.

Of course, if one views the Self as on the same fundamental mission as the Ego, that is, to see its reflection in other Psychanisms of the same species to reaffirm itself, one can see a distinct major disadvantage in the ratio of Self (rare and highly polished mirrors) to Ego (crass lenses of personal distortion) by which the Self may recognise itself. It is easy to appreciate thus, the rarity of the Self being attained and then kept in power as the dominant Psychanism. Perhaps this vast difference in ratio is the reason for the hermitage of Self-types who seek solace away from the majority, the paradigm of Ego. Nietzsche for example?

Unable to find another Self to reflect itself back to itself, perhaps the Self is forced to seek solace in isolation to try and mirror itself by itself. If this is the case, the ability of the dominant Psyche to grow upon Self-Reflection leads me to surmise that each organism theoretically ‘radiates’ something to be reflected. Beams of psyche like the light of a sun (Radia Sol) perhaps, which it beams out toward the Psyches of other organisms, using them like mirrors or walls to bounce itself or ‘ideas’ off. Including of course, anything else that might serve as a mirror, which can be as simple as a book, or as complex as the incommunicable sensations received by virtue of being affected by the matrix. Why? In order to send itself back information about itself to define itself, perhaps continually, in order to stay in dominance over the other aspects of the psyche, and to define which aspect is in control.

The writings below attempt to demonstrate how metaphysically this ‘Radia Sol’ might work - and I’ve broken the theory down into several smaller fundamental principles to aid an understanding.

1.
What is a model?

Models, are an integral tool of my ability to artistically interpret and demonstrate concepts, especially those related to Physics, Quantum Theory, or the Acausal for which I lack the necessary knowledge of mathematics to convey. Quite simply, a model is the building of a structure, with bits and pieces arranged and labelled in such a way that the esoteric forces I am trying to demonstrate can represent themselves.

One example of a Causal model might be a diagram or a picture whereby the forces are represented through labels and accepted scientific doctrine. An Acausal example might be when I draw a parallel between a thing that is recognized and known by the majority as a ‘Real’ or ‘Accepted’ thing or function within the Causal. Often I’ll use a metaphor to explain that which is beyond cause and effect, allows for x amount of dimension, and is generally not accepted, i.e. the image of a burning sea of oil to represent the Acausal and its nexions.

Take the example of a remote control car as being the accepted view of a causal Model. It has a structure that is made up of many parts and components, arranged and labelled in such a way that the parts and components can express specific principles actively such as motion, acceleration, inertia, electricity, etc. By its abilities to do so with a remote control, it defines the meaning of the nature of the model as a ‘Remote Control Car’. Note that it expresses a range of physics and laws - yet is contained within the postulate, and operates on the presupposition, that there are only four dimensions.

However, in this example, the parts, wheels, frame, motor, gears, etc are often understood by a binding general consensus and are recognised fairly easily by the majority of people. They are familiar parts that go together in a familiar way. Most people are aware the wheels are used to propel the frame, the motor to propel the wheels, the remote control to propel the whole thing… etc etc. While few of the majority, actually understand how it works, they accept this model defined by causal laws and physics and geometry, as representative of the causal, of the ‘Real World’.

However, the model I am about to construct is metaphysical. - The 'parts', whilst referred to by names commonly and causally known, may not necessarily have the causal physics associated with that which is alluded to. For example - I may use the word ‘wave’ but this doesn’t necessarily bind my usage of the word to all or any accepted meaning of the familiar word ‘wave’. As always with esoteric manuscripts, there are some important things to remember about models used to demonstrate Esoteria before we continue - and these are as follows:

I) The parts that make up the whole of the Acausal model are not solid ineffable terms or descriptions of objects or movements - they are merely abstract inferences to enable the apprehension of the forces or concept being dealt with in a (mostly) common everyday way using parts that are causally familiar. As they are parts in a model, it is easy to think of the word wave for example, as an actual ‘wave’ and to associate the ideas connected to the word and term ‘wave’ as being applicable and only applicable to the part labelled ‘wave’. This is a fundamental error - since these parts are not intended to represent the actual parts that make up the model, but familiar components used to help give understanding on a basic level necessary to comprehend esoteric ideas. Furthermore the term 'parts' is misleading since the dimensions of the Acausal are not fitted together like those of a causal model - and the reader is wise to keep in mind that what is described using causal terms cannot represent the actual nature of Acausal forces.

II) The causal motions, effects, or changes that the parts demonstrate upon one another and the model as the parts and their function are explained, are mostly irrelevant, since the model deals with the Essence, the Idea behind the model. And it is this Idea behind the model, separate from the parts and familiar associations with the parts themselves, that I seek to bring to light.

III) The model is not infallible - it is after all only a model. Too often criticisms are found with the model before the Idea which the model is trying to elaborate - (and catch 22, can rarely do, without the use of such models) is apprehended. Too often the appearance is observed and not the essence. This fundamental flaw in perception develops the Projection that is the bane of all such esoteric models. Since sure, while the parts of a model exist as they Are, unless one is able to view the Idea behind the parts - one will never understand essence. And it is this raw numinous genius that is alone important. The model is not a representation of the actual Essence of the Idea, but uses familiar forms to demonstrate it. Essence, which is without causal form -relies on the limited forms available to an individual to express itself in a causal way - and is therefore a difficult concept to apprehend, work with, or show to others.

IV) The ability to see the Idea behind the model, from the model, and think beyond the model is paramount. It enables latent genius to presence itself - and not necessarily the genius of the model’s maker, but that which comes from another individual who grasps and then evolves the Idea in ways the model maker may have not thought of. The more organisms capable of apprehending the Acausal the more chance of eventually representing it on its own terms, in Acausal ways.

V) To better understand my model, you will require some knowledge of 'Wave Mechanics'. I of course assume that like myself, when faced with a subject of which one knows nothing or very little about - you undertake the necessary research to remedy this. For my model, I have posited the reality of wave mechanics and built up the theory from this postulate.

2.
Wave Mechanics - A Crash Course

Wave Behaviour:
A wave rises and falls as it travels - the rise and fall are called Crest and Trough respectively. The distance between Crest and Crest or Trough and Trough is called a Wavelength.

Wave Frequency:
The number of wavelengths that pass a certain point in a given amount of time is called the waves Frequency.

Interference:
If two waves meet each other of the same frequency, both the Crests and Troughs of those waves combine and increase in size as they run together or phase. This is called Constructive Interference.

If two waves of the same or different frequency meet each other halfway however, the waves do no overlap perfectly, and the crests and troughs of the waves do not coincide. This is called Destructive Interference.

If two identical waves are exactly half a wavelength out of Phase, the crests of one wave lined up with the trough of the other wave, these waves cancel each other out and no wave appears.

There are also complicated waves in which phase and wavelength are out of sync a bit, making them both constructive and destructive in different places.

Note: Electrons are/embody both wave/particle properties: the more energy that an electron has the shorter its wavelength. Any point in any wave could be the location of the Electron. At the time of writing Electrons cannot be pinpointed in time and space and this peculiar occurrence is referred to as Quantum Physics.

My aim in showing you some wave mechanics is to demonstrate the complexity of waves and the myriad of ways in which they can interact with one another.

This is an important part in the model, but remember; the part is not to be understood as strictly adhering to the properties of wave mechanics, but is instead an unknown quality only re-presented by the use of waves.

3.
Emanations

Now to familiarize you with my concept of ‘Emanations’. The following is not a detailed study of emanations, but instead aims to give you the reader what is popularly known as ‘the gist’.

Most people are familiar with “vibes” / (vibrations). A typical example would be “getting bad vibes/ good vibes”. Often this phenomenon occurs without the individual even being in a position to get the usual sensory information when making a customary good/bad judgment. For example, most of us are aware of our ‘6th’ sense when someone is watching or following us in a sinister fashion. What gives us the feeling, the ‘vibe’, that something bad is about to happen, or that we are in danger despite our other senses lack of alert - neither hearing, seeing, smelling, touching, or tasting, danger?

It’s common to get a bad feeling about a place, but more specifically from people, to feel comfortable or uncomfortable in the presence of strangers, because of the way they seem to give off or emanate some kind of good or bad feeling from within themselves. This is the intuitive at work surely - but then if it cannot see, hear, touch, taste, or smell a bad situation, what does it intuit? Is it possible organisms give off frequencies or wavelengths by our energy, matter, chemical composition, or some such thing? - That we beam or radiate good/bad feelings like satellites sending signals, and likewise receive good/bad signals without the aid of sensory input that tell us the nature of the invisible something is okay/not okay? Perhaps when two such identical frequencies meet that’s how we get people 'on the same wavelength'? I won’t be going into such possibilities too deeply here, since it’s a topic that is already much thrown about in Occult and Scientific circles under terms like fields, magnetism, aura etc… and is already a familiar concept to most by nature, usually just under a different name.

Based on my own experiences with 'having aura' and 'giving vibes' I've postulated that they exist and radiate from within an organism. I refer to these vibes, the giving off of waves or frequencies or charge or what have you, as ‘emanation’. If we emanate, if we possess a vibration that emits telltale signals of our nature, and I feel we do, why do we do it and how?

I aim to demonstrate my theory with a theoretical model. A theoretical model subject to the above stipulations about the nature of the parts and the whole of the model, the purpose of the model, and herein attempt to sweep aside the confines of the Causal and its forms to illustrate ‘Radia Sol’.

4.
The Theoretical Model assumes the following postulates exist:

• That three Aspects within the Psyche are vying for dominance: Unconscious, Ego and Self.
• That each of the Aspects emanates and that dominant emanation by an Aspect ensures dominance over the organism by that Aspect.
• That the Aspects emanate both independently and simultaneously with the others in differing degrees.
• That an Aspect uses emanation to recognise itself as the dominant aspect, and then continually emanates to affirm dominance and define itself.
• That Aspects are able to emanate a vast range of frequencies and even match the frequencies emanated by other Psyches.
• That the frequencies emitted are subject to some or all of the laws of wave mechanics.
• That the Ego is the dominant Aspect in the majority.
• That the dominance of an Aspect can and does vary in degree within an organism.
• That the Self can act independently of the Ego and the Unconscious and vice versa.
• That the emanations emitted by all three Aspects, whilst invisible to the eye or modern science at present, radiate from one Psyche to/through/at/into/etc other Psyches constantly and ceaselessly and can be observed by the nature of interaction with ones total environment or “Matrix”.
• That the Aspects use emanation like echo-sound to recognize themselves.
• That Ego emanations are different to Self emanations - requiring different environments to succeed in dominance.
• That Ego uses other Ego’s to remain dominant, and Self uses other Self to do the same.
• That distortion takes place within the emanations unless identical aspects are interacting.
• That Higher consciousness and a shift from Ego to Self can be achieved if one finds a location that does not distort the echo of its emanation.

With this is mind we can now proceed to the Theory.

5.
Radia Sol : Emanations of the Self- A Theory.

The Emanations of the Self in my theory are best thought of as waves.

Ever, you emit the frequency of your Unconscious, Ego, and Self in unique waves, like ripples on a pond, out onto the ether. Intuitively seeking to Be. A vast expanse of millions of other Unconscious, Ego, and Self are also unconsciously or consciously emitting frequencies.

The Organism (via acausal energies) projects differing emanations onto the ether (these can be thought of as 'questions') to other organisms simultaneously. Seeking to ‘Be’, to become dominant, demands that the Aspect order chaos to know its own image, its own being. Therefore these emanations are the base nature, the ‘feelers’ of the Organism that bounce ideas, conversation, interaction etc, off other Organisms (mirrors) in an attempt to put together a picture of what it actually looks like – and what it is that actually exists. The received replies from these mirrors can be though of as 'answers'.

Each of the three Aspects vys for domination over an Organism's psyche but the aspect that receives more replies to its emanations than the other two is selected as the dominant driver of an organism. Usually however, the natural process of life takes an Organism through these three Aspects, the last emerging during mid-life of an Organism or after particularly harrowing or harsh experiences. Over the last two thousand years this ability of the Self to become dominant and maintain its power has been vastly diminished due to a lack of Self-types, processes used to reach self and the excess majority of Ego-types. What makes the attainment even more difficult is the distortion of the matrix by Magian design that has allowed so many of the immature Ego-types to breed but does not allow progress to the next stage of the mature Organism, the Self.

Hypothetically, 'answers' are received, processed, assimilated and more 'questions' sent out. However, if the emanations act somewhat like waves, then perhaps they are not always directly focused at a receiver but emanate like a sun rather than a laser, and both 'questions' and 'answers' are subject to chaos. The infinitesimal number of organisms all emanating at once could be represented as the outward spreading of ripples on the surface of a pond after a stone has been thrown in. Eventually the joining of separate ripples occurs as more stones are thrown in until so many stones are thrown in that the ripples become unrecognisable. Emanations, being bounced and rocketed from one location (location: an abstract plane of projection such as an idea, concept, form, human construct or even another human etc) to another, are possibly altered by similar properties as are the waves in wave mechanics. Stronger waves may assimilate, distort, fragment other waves over and over again, they may even cancel other waves out. Resulting in a perpetual tumultuous multitude of confusion and chaos. Especially when you consider that a little like the game of paper, scissors, rock, the three different aspects emanate differently and the effect of each from one psyche on each aspect of another psyche, allows for virtually infinite outcomes. Perhaps this chaos could be likened to 'Sensory Perception' if these emanations are also what serve to define dimension, relativity, and order (ad infinitum) of our Organism in relation to the matrix?

However - this confusion of the process from Unconscious to Ego to Self reigns because of the domination of the Majority by the Ego. The Ego, using others organisms to reflect itself off where the dominant Aspect is also the Ego, mostly operates in a causally contained frame of reference, subject to causal distortion and all manner of postulates of reality, and is inherently a contradiction to itself via the positing of 'opposites' for example. If Self generates Self, then Ego generates ego, and with so MUCH Ego the likelihood of a Self being created instead, is very slim. What we are experiencing in terms of Aeonics, is the perpetual creation of ‘Organism without Self’ – a bi-partmental Psyche, a global populace in psychic limbo.

On the rare occasion when the organism becomes aware of Self, a search or echo-scan for other Self's is begun by that Organism. It tries to find a location where it can refract itself - in order to define itself. By virtue of the Organism being aware of Self, this scan for other Self is more focused than the scan performed by the Ego. The Self temporarily no longer in thrall to illusions, no longer sends it waves out in all directions, but in focused bursts to specific receivers to attain a direct reply. But to get feedback requires the highly polished mirrors that other Selfs are, that are very rare. Perhaps given the unique nature of emanations, a Self has different specifications for what it can and can’t reflect itself off. However, unlike the Ego, I hypothesise that the emanations of a Self are not altered by absorption of the emanation by the Other Self, nor does the mingling or phasing of the original emanation occur as it does in Egos, creating a mongrel hybrid. That is to say, when the emanation of an Ego is absorbed by another Ego, it is distorted and mingled into a different refraction or wavelength containing emissions of that Ego as well as the original. Or the emanation is split into more than one wave, part of which is refracted elsewhere and only part of an echo or none at all recieved. Or the Ego even receives a foreign echo created elsewhere but which is interpreted as the reply to the emanation sent out.

I believe this distortion is not applicable between Selves. A Self is a complete Whole comprised of both anima and animus, no longer in need of a 'half' (either feminine or masculine) to complete itself and as such is no longer dependant on finding halves to complete (usually just compliment) itself as is the task of the Ego. Therefore it has no need for either feminine or masculine emanations as given off by the Ego and, basically, negates them.

More often than not however, the Self is unable to find a similar complete receiver to refract itself off and either seeks solace, loses dominance and is once again replaced by Ego, or perhaps in extreme (or typical?) cases, dies, and the Organism loses any chance of becoming Self-aware again.

Just as we seldom see our own physical organism or what we look like from an external view, but instead possess notions of such that give us our own personal definition of ourselves, perhaps the Self actively seeks to view its own image by sending internal emanations to the external sources around it, hoping for a mirror. And just a mirror - since because it is a complete whole it no longer needs any other organisms input but its own to see itself. But without this mirror - it cannot Be. The Idea or Process of seeking to be Self is more often than not stifled early, and even murdered in many people by society seeking to suppress recognition of this aspect. This makes finding a suitable mirror for the Self to refract off all the more difficult and random to achieve. Perhaps then, when the Self finds such a rare mirror in which to 'become' more of itself, and gains precedence over the organism as the dominant Psychanism - it operates on an entirely new system no longer using emanations for the same purpose? Perhaps it gains an increase of concentration and control over its emanation and uses it more like a laser than a radiating wave to cut through egos, so great its power it is no longer is applicable to the same restrictions imposed upon an ego by having or being in thrall to the ego.

Yet in those rare moments when the Self is able to find such a higher receiver, and when two Selfs emanate their Self and nothing more - (achievable only via that intangible quality, Self-Honesty) the two Selfs are able to refract each others emanation without absorbing or mongrelizing it because each Self is of its Self, is whole, rejects all other input but its own and has no interest in projecting the Self onto others.

However - in the case of a Self needing a Self to become dominant, the paradox is posed - how does the Psyche become Self if one cannot find a mirror - in other words, how does the Self find a mirror if in the first place there are no Selfs? It seems difficult to imagine a Self being formed prior to being Self already - but therein the alchemical and magickal training of individuals to recognise and overcome the Ego makes possible the existence of Selfs out there. Furthermore, Jung and the Ona both suggest that the Self is naturally attained for a period of time, but the dominance of which must be worked at to maintain or lost again, and usually forever. Therefore, it is possible to find such mirrors and doesn’t necessarily require two organisms to enable recognition of Self via a mutual transaction.

In the case of the Self evolving on its own, in my opinion the power of self-honesty is the sheer power of all - and using this power to complete oneself, a Whole needs no additional input to function. With no energy expended in ‘echo location’ trying to see the Self anymore, the Self is self-empowered. (Continuing with the metaphor of the Sun, they self-replicate like a thermonuclear explosion). If the Self only refracts itself, the power can only grow, since it is Self-Effort, Self-Love, Self-Achievement, Self-Awakening, and Self-Awareness that occurs. If this is the case, the Self wouldn’t expend its energy carelessly like the Ego does, and perhaps an excess of power ensues which flows over or spills, onto other aspects of the Self's drive to power - 'Wisdom' maybe, or Enlightenment, or other such things. If this could occur en massé perhaps with more and more Selfs balancing (or at least increasing) the ratio of Self to Ego; the charge, the power, of the Cosmic might become perpetual as the Selfs start to become more dominant making more and more mirrors available to potential Selfs.

6.
Closing Statements:

This model/theory may not provide 'food for thought' for all, or even for many - but it does offer a different perspective on how we function and why. The Theory can be superimposed over all human interactions to explain their mechanics by virtue of emanation. Why humans don’t get along, why misunderstandings or love occurs between us, how we find enlightenment, why so few people ever reach enlightenment, or why the chaos exists in our lives, our ideas, our identities, our experiences, and our heads, for example. Furthermore, it offers an esoteric explanation of how the three (psychological) aspects of an organism might function rather than the accepted dual view of our organism and psyche combined as the one inseparable power which drives us: namely, as a sort of will to power to become dominant, lest it become recessive and replaced.

It's hardly an overestimate to suggest the fierce domination of the Ego-mirror in societies overshadow the rare and often easily broken Self-mirror a million to one - perhaps more. Without a healthy Renaissance (Satanic, for example) in which organisms are enabled recognition of the three Pyschanisms, perhaps we are killing ourSelves simply because they have lost the will to live. It’s no small wonder in such a climate hostile even to emergence of the Self that it hibernates. But to let the Self sleep, is to die a slow and insidious death, deafened and maddened by a ceaseless, pointless, bombardment of Egoic emanation.

- Tnepres Ra (ThoTh) of THEM 2003 -

Surprisingly enlightening post Thoth, once again I'm impressed.

As an aspirant on the LHP, I can see the need for getting rid of the dogmatic, moralistic views of traditional systems. I think what you have expressed here is as relevant to the mystic Christians as the "Satanists" in this group.

The Alchemy in recreating self is not to be underestimated. The traditions of the rights ensure the creation of a certain kind of devotee but their methods are only powerful for a time, they don't understand that symbols are only powerful when they're meaningful.

In order to create truly meaningful and powerful symbols that will bring about great personal change we need a base of understanding uncorrupted by fanaticism and misunderstanding in order to bring about a higher level of understanding. If we mix honey with crap it still tastes and looks like crap.

The only thing we can improve is our individual understanding, we should seek to continually do this at every given point we can until the limit of the ego has been reached and eventually transcended. Only by learning what the ego is can the self improve or direct it in any form.

If the self thinks it’s the ego then the ego takes complete control of the organism, for all intensive purposes the self is dead. However if the self retakes control than the ego becomes a malleable tool for the self to use, a pure vessel, fitted to receive.

Hello again.

There are always a couple of ways to answer someone..

One of them is from the understanding that others are on or at different points of a path (whilst united by being on THE path) and to add to past comments - recent updates to that past information enabling a fuller picture to be had. Such is to... push along... someone else's way of looking at things past the point they have just synthesized for themselves - but perhaps too far along to quickly to let the first synthesis have time to settle and be integrated fully into conscious placement. In some cases, that is a fair thing to do, in some cases it is not.

Since writing Radia Sol - I have come to many other conclusions regarding the self the ego and the respective roles they play. It took a long time, and still is, but the cosmetic intellectual application that Satanism is no different from Christianity at certain levels of esoteric unity is filtering into my core belief and 'emanation of Self' more and more as time passes.

It is beautiful - beautiful - to see someone reach for understanding with the calm and tranquility, patience and self-honesty of perhaps a zen master. Not the need to destroy or critcize but to integrate and synthesize for oneself what someone else has to say. Thank you for listening so patiently. This is my work for better or worse, and that is all.

But it is not all my work, and since 2003, I have written no less than a few hundred other mss in the attempt to express. In expressing so much I have become conscious of a great deal - which led to further expression and eventually recognition of a pattern to my work, an underlying river or stream that ties it all in together by being imprinted with a particular set of philosophic blueprints unique to my own synthesis of the Way.

I am sincerely grateful you found something worthwhile in my work here. From my point of view now hoever - it is not so much that magic/alchemy takes place or would take place (if it did/does) from reading what my insights on my path have been - but in the interaction between myself and someone else regarding the context and changing face of those insights; that is to say, in the dialectic that arises from someone elses way of looking at things, meeting my own. Thus I too think of myself as an aspirant on the LHP because wisdom never stands still. I don't think of such a Way as being "right" - but understand that such simplistic definitions as "right" are the best approximate many people have to quantify their path, their insights, or their Way: my own path and way of looking at things is now however, much more complex than that, and so to a great deal more subtle.

If you would like to enter into a private discussion at any time I would be happy to do so.

ISS,
Kris

"I have a question, As a Theosophist we want to control the ego or kill the self and let the higher self become the dominant part. I would not call what I do self worship but I am trying to be non human in the future. My question is do you keep the ego/self or do you also destroy it, and then if you do what is the part that is left? I hope I am making sense. I was up for eighteen hours. Thank You."

M'lady,
And I'll try to open up a few new angles for you to explore what will inevitably be your decision.

As a Theosphist - or as "Anything" a person cannot help but identify with only a small portion of possible available thought processes or emotional feelings. I.e. to name yourself some "thing" is to self-lock yourself into a mostly pre-set way of looking at things and evaluating them. But what are the Ego and the Self but human constructs, abstract words used to define and divide something that cannot be isolated in space (can you find the location of the ego in your head? or the location of the Self?) or by definition.

Just a prior disclaimer:
Many years ago - I might have replied to Imhotep that he was incorrect in his assertions, both in what I thought he meant by how he interpreted my own work, and again because my work and thoughts had moved far along and changed. But my conviction now, is that both you and Imhotep are right in your understanding.

The only thing I can add to that is either my own understanding in which case you can synthesize my insight with your own (as is the way of human dialectic and learning) or my insight that understanding will continually change (usually with dialectic, either self-imposed or with another person).

What I am trying to say - is that my intention or aim in what I do is not to convince you that my writing or findings or insights are able to replace your own or somehow superior - but to emphazise my consciousness of the fact to me (if you are not already aware of it) that understanding is its own journey in its own time.

~

What I have come to conclude from my experiences so far, is that the Ego; rather than be viewed as some sort of fixed place or point that hinders someone - has been demonized for reasons that I feel are both needless and misplaced. Secondly - the idea that one could kill the Self as though the Self were a mental construct only is another absurd concept that seems to surface in the occult a fair bit. A lot of my life and work has been about opening communication with unknown parts of my psyche so I feel comfortable to offer my impressions and criticisms for the way these two things have been turned into some sort of psychic commodity. (not, your fault.)

I believe that one of the reasons for this division of the Self and Ego and their particular treatment as real isolatable psychophysical compartments relates to the same mass projection and oversimplification of such dualisms as good/evil that dominates and defines the perception of a good portion of the world's inhabitants. I am led to this assumption partly based on the observation that others have interchanged the Self and Ego to say something similar to you, only with the names reversed.

Now, I can't tell you what to do with what you define as your ego and your Self - only you know what you mean there. But my growing approach - despite trying to 'kill' both self or ego to follow certain occult paths at one time or another - is to grow a relationship with both of them.

My work is to open a dialogue between my ego and my self, or my conscious and my unconscious; through receptivity to my dreams, developing empathy with others, myself and the world, listening to my intuition and developing the ability to judge with my feelings and not just my male intellect; learning, not being afraid to face my demons, not being afraid to face myself; not being afraid to be afraid. Soft as these things may sound - I have a tremendous ego - and a solid trust in my Self to provide a balance in guiding my ego through life in equilibrium using prompts from my unconscious to tweak or make adjustments as need be.

I am not afraid to make mistakes or admit when I am wrong, or childish, or selfish or ignorant. I am afraid though - of putting on the same blinkers I have over the last 18 years as a Christian, Wiccan, Neo-Nazi, Buddhist, Martial Artist, Extenstialist, Philosopher, Scientist, Satanist - and shutting down the natural flow of information available that has given me the ability to grow so much and mature so far by filtering Life through any particular form or way of thinking - but more so, that I will give advice that will bid someone else to do the same. Thus perpetuating the vicious cycle with further misunderstanding.

I think that restricting yourself to synthesizing the total information around you through one means - whether "Satanist" or "Theosophist" for example, is both to set the ego in stone, never to be moved except by extreme shock or circumstance thus to be dominated by circular thought and relative unconsciousness - and to begin killing the Self, all in one go. Thus the part that is left when the communication with the unconscious is dead is a loss of vitality through unconscious signs and dreams, and a personality forever set in stasis in its immature form.

I'm human through and through - and proud of the human I am. I find I did not need to become "non-human" or step away/run away from what I biologically am, to come into my own sense of peace, power, and harmony.

If I seem wise, it's only because I accept counsel from what has been called the collective numinous pool and was brave enough to listen. And for that, I have needed both the ego and the Self - whatever they may be.

ISS,
Kris