Strider, you mentioned hexes and curses being more effective when you didn't hate the person. It is not my intention to do such a thing. I use hate to deal with people in the physical realm, and to protect myself from them being able to harm me emotionally when it applies. Why would you not advocate such things here? Are there reasons that do not allow to discuss these things openly here? If so, please warn me, i'm just worried you mean in a legal sense. I'm hoping freedom of religion applies here. On another note..
I'll explain in more detail. At times I suddenly feel hate towards an individual, and i try to remove this feeling by remembering what i had done to them to 'get even'. Sometimes it works and i laugh, but at other times i wish i had done more. Even though that could have got me into a lot trouble, and would not be wise. Sometimes i wonder if the most extreme forms of revenge would satisfy these feelings, but that is very dangerous thinking. The point is, i shouldn't have to feel these sudden rushes or anger from the past over things that are done and gone. Especially when if have already acted on some of them. Still feeling them makes me think I had not dealt with them harshly enough. Perhaps i should resume weight training, it was effective at dealing with such emotions. Concentrating on people i hated, i lifted a lot more weight, and felt great after. And wouldn't usually have such random feelings afterwards. Perhaps a form of ritual in its own?
I think because i have taken much more time to reflect and work on meditations, i have become more suscebtible to these feelings. I used to think i needed my hate, and it gave me power. But given my circumstances now, it seems to not be the case. I believe you use a death ritual in this case? Not sure, I've heard of death rituals in the death and rebirth of the self sense. I can vaguely remember doing such a ritual a few years back. Not in very formal sense though, it seemed to just kinda happen. Being in control of emotions is something everyone struggles with, and if rituals can help, i want to try.
I would also like to say how great it is too discuss such things. Through some moderate study and work i've expierenced things that are hard to explain to myself. Being able to share feels great. I would also like to admit i have limited expierence with highly formal rituals. Mostly due to embarrassment but i think i'm willing to cross that road. I have in the past but sometimes we stray from our purpose i guess. If anyone would like to share some methodology, specific rituals, or expierences, please do.
Oh... and.. .uhh...thanks for listening guys
just messing with you.
PS: I think we need a more bad ass smiley with tongue out, don't you?
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