I'm going to go with S0urceror on this one. I've become a misanthrope from experiences and one revelation through meditation. Many years of severe mistreatment even by people who say they are only out for your good, etc. is a good start on how it happens. Those who supposedly love you turn around and betray you after gaining your trust. Family members or spouses beat the hell out of you in the name of love or saving your soul. Supposed best friends of 7yrs saying they love you and are out for your best interests then turn around and try to sever a wonderful relationship you're in. Spouses controlling you to the level you can't pee without permission nor can have friends of your own/see your family. Loved ones trying to kill you in order to save you. etc... humanity is wonderful and should be loved.... rather tormented by the pure darkness and destruction that lie in wait to take this world.
The revelation I had was during contemplation on the mother Tiamat and the Enuma Elish and it's variants. Came across a chaosophic version from the TOBL that fit well with the missing parts of the translation and it made the most sense of any human creation theory I've read... short version, we're basically Marduk created from clay and the blood of the chaos beings to be minions. But being inheritantly chaotic we're prone to go against him. Where does this tie in? I've come to feel my soul is not 'human' in the sense of the same as the rest of humanity, but originating elsewhere. In defense of the Mother I've come to hate all bastard creations of Marduk and yes that means the flesh vessel I'm in for this life as well.
-=Ex Ignorantia Ad Sapientiam; E Luce Ad Tenebras=-
~Khaotyk Artwerx (khaotyk-artwerx.tk)
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